


so, you decided to start a group chat.

by FloralPunk15



Category: Hermitcraft RPF, Minecraft (Video Game), Team Crafted, The Theorists, mcyt
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, F/M, Group Chat Fic, M/M, Mentions of past self harm, Multi, So are the game theory crew, Swearing, TW: Self Harm, also, and captain sparklez, everyone is lbgtq+, hybrid fic, i know tc is a dead fandom but i miss them, mental illnesses portrayed in a human way, no descriptions given, seto has OCD, tfc and cub are teachers, the hermits swear too, this is self indulgent bullshit, tw: anxiety, tw: ocd, typical tc banter, updating tags as i write
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-13
Updated: 2021-03-02
Packaged: 2021-03-12 23:48:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 15,732
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29392917
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FloralPunk15/pseuds/FloralPunk15
Summary: group chats fics are such a cliche. But guess what babey? its 2021 and I feel nostalgic! also, college is likking me and i need to destress!will feature team crafted (showing my age a little lmao), hermit craft, and (possibly) DSMP. tags will be updated as i go.all lowercase/misspellings are intentional in chat segments, and not every chapter will be a chat segment!inspired by @tcincorrect on tumblr and Why are we still allowed here by SkyTheAlmighty here on ao3!
Relationships: Adam Dahlberg/Tyler "Ty" Warren Ellis, Arek Lisowski | Keralis/Xisumavoid (Video Blogging RPF), Ian Stapleton/Quentin Juneau, ImpulseSV/TangoTek/Zedaph, Jason Probst/Harvey | SetoSorcerer, Oliver Brotherhood/Charles | Grian, Rendog/Etho, Viktor|Iskall85/StressMonster101, ZombieCleo/JoeHills
Comments: 27
Kudos: 64





	1. Log 1: JASON FARTS PLEDGE PASS IT ON

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Why are we still allowed here?](https://archiveofourown.org/works/28801206) by [SkyTheAlmighty](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SkyTheAlmighty/pseuds/SkyTheAlmighty). 



**_sky has added deadlox, truemu, ssundee, huskymudkipz, bajan canadian, asf jerome, and setosorcerer to the chat!_ **

**_sky has renamed the chat Team Crafted!_ **

**sky: hello and welcome to hell everyone.**

**deadlox: can I go now?**

**bajancandian: we see each other at school all the time though???**

**bajancandian: why does this need to be a thing??**

**truemu: I think the better question is: why is this becoming a thing at 3:04 am?**

**setosorcerer: time is fake jason**

**asfjerome: i thik the better question is who let seto in the chat**

**sky: he can’t not be here. he’s seto, our cryptid**

**setosorcerer: thank you for recognizing i am a cryptid™**

**truemu: Are Ssundee and Husky asleep?**

**asfjerome: yeah i think so? yall should be too**

**deadlox: i think the best question is how the fuck did seto do a trademark symbol?**

**setosorcerer: im a cryptid**

**setosorcerer: thats how ty**

**deadlox: i am suddenly in favor of kicking seto**

**truemu: Let’s not. I like him.**

**bajancanadian: i think bad things will happen if we kick him.**

**asfjerome: me too, ty.**

**setosorcerer: …**

**setosorcerer: i see how you are.**

**setosorcerer: fuck all of you**

**truemu: Even me?**

**setosorcerer: except for you. youre precious. but i hope the rest of you get bit by jerome.**

**bajancandian: oh that’s cold.**

**deadlox: jokes on you, i’m into biting ;)**

**sky: OuO**

**asfjerome: the only one of you i’d even think about biting is mitch**

**asfjerome: hes most likely the cleanest**

**asfjerome: and i know where hes been**

**sky: in your bed lmfao. also, jason is a neat freak.**

**asfjerome: yeah**

**asfjerome: i dont doubt jasons hygiene but he probably tastes like cleaner or some shit**

**truemu: Rude. I don’t taste like cleaner. I’m not that much of a neat freak.**

**setosorcerer: if anything im worse bc ocd just be like that**

**sky: that’s fair.**

**deadlox: i love how jace is the only one saying he doesn’t taste like cleaner.**

**bajancandian: …**

**bajacandian: are you gonna bite him and find out??**

**deadlox: i might. ;)**

**truemu: That would be very distressing. Please Do Not.**

**ssundee: maybe a gentle lick?**

**truemu: nO**

**truemu: dO NOT**

**setosorcerer: with my all knowing cryptid powers i can confirm that jason doesnt taste like cleaner. he tastes salty**

**sky: did you lick him?**

**setosorcerer: no**

**sky:???**

**setosorcerer: y̸̪̗͍͙̱̱̣̼̰̱̩͇͈̍̔͒͋̓̍̈́̀̐̅̽͊̿͝͝ǒ̸̧͙͔̪͍͓̗̪̂u̵̡̫͇͎̠̠̳̗̝͈͔͓͔͑̅̑͂̄͝ ̴̢͕̹̲̬̓̃͝d̸͎͎̰̗͓͉̟̥̣̞̳͔͉̎̿ȃ̶̢͈̥̫̲̺̱͎̈́͐͘͜ŗ̶̻̬̦͍̹̳͙̠̠̋̿ͅȩ̵̨̡̧̝͕̺̝̼̺̗̟̘̩̑͑̎͛̄ ̴̛͖͖̦̳͓͙̰̲̗̲͒̀̔͐͂̋̍͗̽̇͘͠͝ͅq̶͖͖̦͕̻̔͊̋̓͋͑̍̎͌̈ͅừ̸͍̙̮ę̸̛̛̠̮͇̆͗͗̅̾̒̀̌̎ͅs̸̛̭͍̜̭̲͚̫̦̃̌̃͐͌̍̚ţ̸̨͈̦͚͓̺̙͆̅̉͗̓̃ͅi̵̡̧̦͍͓̻̙̯͑͋͋̏͐͗̔̇̌͝ͅo̸̢̲̾̋͂̈̎̍̅̊̑̌̈́̾̿͘̕n̸̛̩̺̳̪͉̦̊͗̉̽ ̵͓̐̉̾̚t̶̛̛͍͍͓̑͋̿͋̑̃̔̑͊̇͘̕̚͜h̷͚͕͎͍̿̇͆͌̔̿̚̕e̸̡̨̢̠͎̥̲͔͚̩̿͌ ̴̢̗̦̼͙̱̿̎c̵̬͛͑̆̕r̵̭͉̖͚̦̺̠̙̥̟̒ͅy̷̛̭͓̝̤̝̦̗̆̈͛̈͛̔́͊̍̂̓̇̕͠p̴͓̰̿̒̄̾͑͒͛̐͐͒̏t̵̨̧̙̮̗̯̔͐͑͐̂̽̃̍̑̇̃̔͝ȋ̸̡̢͙̬͉̜̯̳̪̹̬̗̑̏͆̆̊̿̾d̵̩̼̣͎͇̩̤̳͌̄͌**

**sky: what the fuck?**

**_ssundee left Team Crafted!_ **

**_sky added ssundee to Team Crafted!_ **

**sky: we don’t do that here.**

**truemu: No, Seto hasn’t licked me to my knowledge.**

**truemu: But thank you for clearing that up.**

**ssundee: wait… benj and bacc are sleepin together???**

**bajancandian: sadly, my bed is devoid of furries.**

**asfjerome: sadly my bed is devoid of mitchs fine ass**

**asfjerome: the rest of him can stay wherever he is**

**asfjerome: dat ass dou**

**asfjerome: bring it on over baby**

**_truemu has set bajancandian’s nickname to benj!_ **

**_truemu has set asfjerome’s nickname to bacc!_ **

**benj: nice**

**bacc: we have matching names now mitch**

**bacc: wanna touch butts**

**benj: oh, you know it babygurl**

**deadlox: and they say they’re straight. -_-**

**bacc: its not gay to tell the homies they have nice asses is it**

**huskymudkipz: no. i tell jason all the time that his ass is nice. and that he smells like pledge.**

**truemu: Oh for fuck’s sake.**

**setosorcerer:oh my god i misread that so badly**

**setosorcerer: i read it as “his ass is nice and smells like pledge”**

**setosorcerer: i woke my cat up bc im wheezing so loudly right now**

**sky: JASON FARTS PLEDGE PASS IT ON**

**deadlox: JAOSN FARTS PLEDGE PASS IT ON**

**benj: JASON FARTS PLEDGE PASS IT ON**

**bacc: jaosn**

**bacc: JASON FARTS PLEDGE PASS IT ON**

**huskymudkipsz: JASON FARTS PLEDGE PASS IT ON**

**ssundee: JASON FARTS PLEDGE PASS IT ON**

**_setosorcerer set truemu’s nickname to jaosn!_ **

**_setosorcerer set setosorcerer’s nickname to cryptid_ **

**_setosorcerer renamed the group JASON FARTS PLEDGE PASS IT ON_ **

**jaosn: I hate all of you.**

**cryptid: itll change when soemone else makes a joke at anothers expense. im sorry**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Adam: sky  
> Ty: deadlox  
> Jason: trumemu, changed to jaosn  
> Mitch: bajancanadian, changed to benj  
> Jerome: jeromeasf, changed to bacc  
> Ian: ssundee  
> Quinten:huskymudkipz  
> Seto: setosorcerer, changed to cryptid


	2. Log 2: words are fake, scar.

**_grian has added, iskall85, mumbojumbo, stressmonster101, gtwscar, xisumavoid, keralis1, cub135, bdoubleo100, joehills, zombiecleo, falsesymmetry, hypnotizd, docm77, renthedog, xbcrafted, welsknight, ethoslab. zedaph, tangotek, and impulsesv to the chat!_ **

**_grian has renamed the chat hermit friends!_ **

**mumbojumbo: its three am. please go to sleep you gremlin.**

**iskall85: I second this. we have a history test tomorrow. Mr. Chef will murder you of you fall asleep in class again.**

**grian: i know. and i won’t. the kid who sits behind me is really loud, even during test times.**

**xisumavoid: grian. bed.**

**grian: im in my bed, yes.**

**ethoslab: so am i.**

**ethoslab: its very comfy**

**grian: but do you have cats?**

**ethoslab: no. wish i did though. my bedroom is cold af**

**tangotek: imp, zed and i were studying**

**xiusmavoid: I approve, but please get some sleep, kids.**

**grian: in a bit, dad.**

**mumbojumbo: i also have an engineering test tomorrow.**

**iskall85: same. rip to us and doc**

**ethoslab: its just a circuitry test. we’ll be fine.**

**mumbojumbo: you’re in that class????**

**ethoslab: yep. third period.**

**mumbojumbo: oh. all of us but tango have it fourth.**

**tangotek: I have it third with etho!**

**renthedog: i have workshop with grian and scar.**

**gtwscar: do you think maybe the boy in the blue hoodie will lend me his notes grian?**

**grian: i don’t think so?? he seems friendly though so maybe ask him tomorrow in music?**

**ethoslab: if jason wont i will scar.**

**gtwscar: aren’t you in ap history though?**

**ethoslab: …**

**ethoslab: yep. X and i are nerds.**

**keralis1: they took the test we’re taking last week. theirs just went a little more in depth. i helped shiswhammy study.**

**renthedog: yep, we did.**

**ethoslab: lemme go find them for you.**

**tangotek: are we all gonna ignore how etho knew exactly who scar was talking about?**

**etho: I have a few classes with him. he's pretty nice, actually.**

**etho: so is seto, once you get to know him. bit shy though lmao**

**gtwscar: that’s good to know. arent they dating tho?**

**etho: i have no idea. their whole little group is flirty as all hell.**

**mumbojumbo: i have classes with the ones who call each other baby girl and they say the weirdest shit.**

**mumbojumbo: apparently they’re not gay?**

**mumbojumbo: anyways, the 8 or so of them have enough chaotic energy to rival grian and etho.**

**grian: you dare challenge my chaotic nature?**

**etho: you’ll pay nerd**

**mumbojumbo: oh no.**

**mumbojumbo: … where’s beef?**

**grian: oh SHIT I FORGOT BEEF**

**_grian added vintagebeef to hermit friends!_ **

**grian: sorry beef**

**vintagebeef: you left me at target**

**xisumavoid: you left him at study hall**

**keralis1; you left him at dairy queen. i fed him**

**vintagebeef: oh he didn’t leave me. he was coming back. then you offered me free fries and i was like ‘i wanna stay with mom he cares about me’**

**gtwscar: mom?**

**iskall85: keralis can’t be dad if xiusma is dad.**

**iskall85: dad takes us to chuck e cheeses and hypes us up on caffeine and mom yells at him because we trashed his living room. its called balance.**

**gtwscar: they can both be dad they’re both dudes after all?**

**iskall85: words are fake, scar.**

**_xisumavoid has set kerails1’s nickname to mom_ **

**_xisumavoid has set xisumavoid’s nickname to dad_ **

**grian: then why is dad telling us to go to bed but mom is letting us stay up?**

**mom: actually,**

**_mom set an image to hermit friends!_ **

**mom: we both did.**

**dad: go to bed, children. please. I have 85 tests and a million essays to write. i can’t babysit the chat, too.**

**mom: you heard him. bed. all of you. even zit, who are being little angels.**

**impulsesv: yep, that’s us!**

**zedaph: goodnight parents and siblings!**

**tangotek: goodnight.**

**impulsesv: gnight nerds.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the only name changes in this chapter are xisuma and kerlais'. xisuma's is dad and keralis' is mom


	3. Log 3: "Studying"

**_tangotek has added impulsesv and zedaph to the chat!_ **

**_tangotek has renamed the chat “we’re studying”!_ **

**_tangotek has set tangotek’s nickname to tango!_ **

**_tangotek has set impulsesv’s nickname to imp!_ **

**_tangotek has set zedaph’s nickname to zed!_ **

**tango: I can’t believe they bought that.**

**impulse: i can. no one disputed what you said.**

**zed: hahahaha**

**zed: I really should study for that test though, lmao**

**impulse: or you might get a 99 instead of a 100?**

**tango: zed, you’ve studied the material all week. you got it!**

**zed: do you two need to study?**

**tango: no. i studied.**

**impulse: maybe. but i need to study for chem more.**

**tango: we just studied that ;) ;)**

**zed: LMAO**

**zed: i think that counts as bio though, love.**

**impulse: no i actually need to do real studying. i can’t fail another test or im out of jazz band.**

**tango: shit babe why didn’t you say anything?!**

**impulse: mumbo helped me a bit earlier. if nothing else maybe i can ask jerome to study with me?**

**zed: he’s in bio, honey. his bf is in chem.**

**impulse: oh.**

**impulse: well fuck.**

**zed: ty is in chem and owes me a favor lemme message him rq.**

**tango: what’s it over?**

**impulse: stoichiometry.**

**tango: wait i actually get that.**

**_tango sent an image to “we’re studying”!_ **

**impulse: i could kiss you right now tangs.**

**tango: pay me back later babe. ;)**

**tango: but video chat if you need me, okay? Im actually gonna head to bed.**

**tango: goonight. love you guys.**

**zed: i love you too, tango.**

**impulse: i love you so fucking much. sweet dreams, you devil.**

**tango: ;)**

**_tango has logged off!_ **

**zed: ty can also help you. he’ll catch you between first and second. good luck, babe! i’m off to bed!**

**impulse: thanks, angel. sweet dreams!**

**_zed has logged off!_ **

**_impulse has logged off!_ **


	4. Log 4: we really cant keep a conversation on one topic can we?

**deadlox: adam do you still have my chem notes?**

**sky: yeah why?**

**deadlox: i owe a friend a favor and he asked me to make sure his bf didn’t fail our stoic test.**

**jaosn: who??**

**benj: who??**

**cryptid: zed?**

**cryptid: who else?**

**cryptid: he distracted mr. patrick so ty could snag the set list, remember?**

**sky: wait i thought he was the one in red?**

**cryptid: no, that’s tango, his other bf.**

**cryptid: if you want, ty, i can help impulse.**

**deadlox: thanks bc i can’t guarantee he’ll do well.**

**benj: OH YEAH. we’re lab partners in bio.**

**bacc: didn’t he and tango set a microscope on fire?**

**benj: i don’t think so.**

**ssundee: what**

**huskymudkipz: how do you even do that?**

**benj: they did. i think they had the one with the bad cord.**

**benj: so not their fault, but still kind of hilarious.**

**bacc: that raises a lot more questions.**

**huskymudkipz: other bf??**

**benj: tango explained. he, impulse, and zed are a triad.**

**cryptid: wait thats adorable**

**cryptid: etho told me that too. he sits next to you in choir, jace.**

**jaosn: he told me his name was brad the gay salesman??**

**cryptid: thats amazing.**

**seto: we did that group project together**

**cryptid: told me i have nice handwriting**

**cryptid: he’s also salty that adam got the lead instead of me.**

**sky: rude.**

**cryptid: i didnt want it anyways. thats a lot of pressure and attention i dont want**

**sky: valid**

**ssundee: you didnt even audition for that role???**

**cryptid: mr marron told mr patrick that i should have it bc i have a slightly higher range than adam**

**cryptid: which is true, but adam has the personality for it. he likes the attention too.**

**sky: RUDE**

**cryptid: you like being on stage. i do not.**

**sky: i apologize and retract my rude.**

**benj: i have props and we need a guitar.**

**cryptid: who has that role again?**

**benj: ren, i think??**

**benj: the flirty one with the odd accent. not british, either.**

**cryptid: oh. i’ll bring mine.**

**bacc: you play guitar???**

**cryptid: yeah. just for stress relief. but whoevers on costumes may wanna preemptively give him bandaids bc my g and b strings bite.**

**jaosn: add that to the list, mitchie. im costuming with shiswhammy and keralis.**

**cryptid: lmao**

**cryptid: his name is xisuma**

**cryptid: keralis jus calls him that to annoy him**

**deadlox: wait thats mean.**

**jaosn: x seems to be okay with it. i think they volunteered to work together, but luckily they aren’t overly flirtatious.**

**jaosn: but now the nickname x makes more sense.**

**deadlox: wait thats cute.**

**truemu: ismt jay playing a girl**

**benj: yeah. he’s the love interest. cant wait to see how that pans out**

**bacc: can my dress be sparkly??**

**cryptid: please. i was brainstorming makeup ideas and if his dress is sparkly i can go all out on makeup.**

**jaosn: I forgot you were in wardrobe this time around.**

**_cryptid sent an image to JASON FARTS PLEDGE PASS IT ON!_ **

**jaosn: those are pretty.**

**benj: and the only pics we have of seto not being a cryptid**

**bacca: you look so pretty with makeup on dude?? im mad jelly. i wanna be the prettiest girl at the party nwo**

**cryptid: thanks. may have to alter the colors a little bc jerome isnt a ghost like me**

**bacc: go outside??**

**cryptid: i do. sometimes i just find a patch of sunlight and vibe like a plant**

**cryptid: humans are just plants with anxiety™**

**sky: look what you did to that rosebush, ty**

**sky: you gave it anxiety**

**deadlox: i just wanted a friend!**

**deadlox: and now it’s having a midlife crisis at 16!**

**cryptid: …**

**cryptid: yeah. but can it really be a midlife crisis if im convinced i won’t make to 18?**

**jaosn:do you need me to come over?**

**cryptid: nah piggie and i are just vibin while i remove glitter from my face**

**jaosn: kiss his stupid lil head and tell him i love him please?**

**cryptid: i did**

**cryptid: he purred and then drooled all over my phone screen.**

**ssundee: the sentence “piggie and i are just vibin” sent me through seven dimensions until i remembered that you have a cat, not a pig**

**sky: the scary german dude in my english class saw a picture of jace’s cat and went from straight murder to soft man. it was a trip dude.**

**sky: jason sent me a pic of the chonk bc i was sad.**

**jaosn: seto do you want chonk pics?**

**crypitd: yes**

**ssundee: I want chonk pics**

**benj: ^^**

**bacc:^^**

**huskymudkipz:^^**

**deadlox: ^^**

**sky: ^^**

**jaosn: okay okay, hang on.**

**_jaosn sent 40 images to JASON FARTS PLEDGE PASS IT ON!_ **

**huskymudkipz: the range**

**benj: the FLUFF**

**bacc: i have never anted to be/ vibed with a cat so hard before.**

**deadlox: is teddy actually that fat?**

**jaosn: nope. its all fluff. he’s only like, 7 pounds, which is healthy for him. but he does have a bit of a gut and it flattens when he loafs.**

**cryptid: somehow i ended up with another drooling cat on me???**

**_cryptid sent two images to JASON FARTS PLEDGE PASS IT ON!_ **

**benj: the white one is really pretty. is she siamese? i’ve never seen a gold marked one.**

**cryptid: yeah. she’s a golden tabby/flame point mix. her name is artemis. her brother is apollo, and we also have pigpen and baby curiosity, who is currently trying to eat her own tail.**

**bacc: thats a lot of cats.**

**cryptid: we have a soft spot for animals in bad situations. i found pigpen in a drain when he was 5 weeks old, and my sister begged my mom to let us save pols and artie. they were from a breeder and the breeder was gonna put them down bc they wouldn’t make them money. then my sister found curi half froze in a snowbank and carried her around in her bra for two days. she’s fine now, obvi. just a crackhead.**

**benj: that is something i could see your sister doing. just walking around with a cat in her shirt. full grown, lil nose just out there.**

**cryptid: when we foud curi, her eyes and ears were open but she was just learning to walk. so no older than 4 weeks. baby jellybean in her shirt.**

**benj: thats even cuter somehow?**

**bacc: thats precious. your sister is precious seto.**

**cryptid: i know. ill tell her you said that anyways.**

**bacc: thank.**

**benj: so how are you gonna help impulse with chem?**

**cryptid: cryptid magic.**

**sky: we really cant keep a convo on one topic can we?**

**benj: no.**


	5. Blurb One: Prop Hunting

Kerlais glanced around their odd group. It was a mixture of hermits and team crafted, as the two friend groups called themselves, and Keralis was a little nervous to interact with team crafted if he was honest. They were huddled around in the gap between Xisuma’s car and the blue slugbug the other group arrived in, waiting for someone to take the lead. 

Xisuma, normally took that role in the hermits, and adjusted just as easily to this hybrid group too, it seemed. “Benj, can I see your list?” he requested calmly. The boy moved from his spot against the door of the blue slugbug he was leaning against, handing Xisuma a sheet of paper and a pen. “We have a guitar. I can get bandaids. Fluffy is here so we can buy a dress. Why on Earth do we need a cheap glass lamp? Sheets should be easy to get here,” he muttered to himself. Keralis only heard him due to their close proximity. “Okay, so I think if we break off into four teams of pairs, we should be able to get this done quickly.” he began, looking around the group. “But the groups need to interact according to Mr. Patrick, so hermits, chose a crafter. I need Jerome because I’m in wardrobe.” For a moment, nobody moved. “Don’t make me assign groups, guys. This is supposed to be fun,” 

“Yes dad,” the hermits all replied in unison, then the flurry of activity happened. 

Keralis panicked, eyes flitting about the small group. A pair of bright cerulean eyes met his, and the owner of the stunning eyes gave him an assuring smile. “Kerlais, right?” he asked softly. Kerlais nodded, blanking on the boy’s name right then. “Partners?” he asked, and Keralis nodded again, leaving his spot by Xisuma to join… Jason! His name is Jason! He was surprisingly small, standing just under Keralis’ shoulder. 

Etho had paired off with the dark haired boy beside him, the two chatting softly about something. Kerlais knew nothing about him, other than he owned a guitar and nobody ever called him by his name. Jason followed his line of sight, then turned back to Kerlais. “That’s Seto. He’s pretty shy, but he seems to like Etho,” he commented softly. “The one in the checkered hoodie is Mitch. He seems scary, but he’s actually really sweet. Jerome’s in the black coat. A little loud at times, but he’s also super nice. They’ll grow on you, I promise,” 

“Pairs all set?” Xiusma asked, doing a headcount really quickly. “Great. I’m going to need your usernames really quickly,” he addressed Mitch, Seto, Jerome, and Jason. “We’ll use chatterbox to communicate, and I’ll assign everyone a few items that way,” he explained, then passed hisi phone to Keralis, who passed it to Jason. Jason typed his name in, then passed it to Seto. It made its way around the circle and back to Xisuma, who added the hermits and sent the lists.

**dad: @mom @jaosn; sheets, candleholders, plates and cups, 3 umbrellas.**

A simple list, really. He saw the other’s assignments, then the group entered the store. Jason pulled him over to the glassware section, basket in his free hand. “Candleholders,” he muttered softly, scanning the shelves. Kerlais spotted a set, a heavy metal base with bronze coating. there were two, so he looked to Jason. 

“Jason, will these do?” he asked. Jason nodded, setting them in the basket at his arm. ThenJason picked up some clear flutes. After a light tap on the edge of the vessel, he hummed in thought and set it down. The he spotted another pair that passed the tap test.

“They’re plastic,” Jason explained. “The first set were glass and I don’t want them to break and hurt someone,” Keralis nodded in understanding, following the shorter boy to the plates section. They collectively mused at the plates, talking in silent glances. 

“Oh, how cute,” an elderly lady gushed beside them. “Oh no, dear, a young couple is just shopping for housewares.” she murmured into her phone. 

“We ah,” Keralis stammered. “No. We’re looking for props for a school play,” he explained to the lady, his stutter coming out in full force. 

“We go to Herald Falls,” Jason supplied smoothly, a charming and friendly lilt in his tone. A faint drawl Keralis couldn’t place colored his tone. “The play is called Love’s Foul, and we’re presenting it the weekend before Halloween. You should come watch!” 

“Oh that would be nice,” the lady smiled. “Liz, dear, would you be interested in that?” she asked. they didn’t hear Liz’s response, but the woman’s smile seemed to indicate it was a positive remark. “Happy hunting, gents,” the woman smiled, then carried on down the aisle. 

Jason turned to him, holding up two plates. They were white with gold leaf brushed on the edges. “They’re plastic, too.” he beamed. “We’d have to get all eight, but the whole set is two dollars.” 

“That’s uh, gr- wonderful,” Kerlais beamed. “Sorry, I tend to stutter a bit, but it’s worse when I get nervous,” 

Jason’s smile didn’t dim a bit. “I noticed. Luckily for you, I don’t mind talking for two,” he joked, with a friendly nudge to Keralis’ ribs. “So the list said sheets,” he changed topics suddenly, and Keralis felt relief. “But I think we should get a table cloth, or one similar enough to one so Seto’s sister can decorate it for us. She’s not in drama, but she’s a wiz with a sewing needle,” 

Keralis nodded, letting the smaller boy drag him around. He felt oddly at ease with Jason, even though he usually needed more adjustment to new people. Keralis chalked it up to the friendly, welcoming air Jason had about him. It reminded him a lot of Stress. The two would love each other, Kerlais decided then and there, pulling out his phone to update Xisuma. 

**mom: Jason and I are almost done. And getting on pretty well.**

**dad: good to hear! jerome and i couldn’t find anything for him, but i found some tentative ideas for ren and sky. we need to check with jason and seto, however.**

**mom: I’ll tell him. :)**

“Jason,” Kerlais called, making the blond look up from a stack of pristine white sheets. “Shishwammy found a few possible costume pieces for sky and ren.” he informed. Jason smiled, then returned to looking at the fabric. 

“Sorry,” he sheepishly smiled, holding up a stack of folded gold sequined fabric. “I think Seto’s sister, we call her Pezzy, could make this work for Fluffy,” he explained. “Three yards should be enough for Seto’s ideas.” he set it in Keralis’ arms. “But that’s great. Find out where they are and we can chat about it,” he instructed, going back to the array of fabrics at his disposal. 

Keralis shifted the bundle of fabric to drape over his arm, then opened the group chat again. 

**mom: @cryptid @dad where are you guys?**

**etho: seto and i are in the lighting department. i can see dad from here because he’s a tower of a man**

**dad: thank you? we’re heading towards you now.**

**bacc: why are you two mom and dad? also, seto ur butt looks fine from this angle ;)**

**mom: we’ll explain in a moment. lemme get jace before i lose him.**

**cryptid: @bacc stop checking me out. arent you “straight” anyways?**

Keralis let out a snort, then gently pulled Jason towards the lighting section, looking for Xisuma’s bright sweater. “Your friend Fluffy is weird,” he commented. 

“You get used to him,” Jason smiled in amusement. “He does that to everyone. Expect it at least once. He’ll stop if you ask, though.” 

Keralis nodded, spotting Xisuma pretty quickly. Being 6 feet tall, he really did stand out amongst the group of other boys flocking around him. They weren’t short by any means, all of them being about the same height as Keralis himself. Jason, however, was shorter than all of them by at least a few inches, and it was kind of hilarious seeing him next to Xisuma. Keralis couldn’t help the quiet giggle that slipped from his mouth. 

Etho rolled his heterochromatic eyes. “We get it. Jason looks like a kid next to dad. Get it together, mom,” he lightly chided. 

Xisuma cleared his throat, bringing the impending bickering to a halt before it began. “To answer your question, Jerome, they call us mom and dad because we’re the parental friends of the group. Anyways,” he took some articles of clothing from the cart, handing them on Jerome’s outstretched arm. A moment of fussing with the garments passed, and Xisuma held them up for approval. 

“Blue is a really bold choice for Ren,” Etho commented. “If I recall correctly, he’s meant to be the one accused, but I think with some creative spin on the dialogue, Ren could nail blue perfectly.” 

“Hush, prop man,” Jerome joked. “And well, seeing as I do murder my loving husband Adam and frame him, It’d make sense.” 

Jason hummed in thought. “Honestly, if anyone could pull off such a polarizing character in a seemingly odd color scheme, it’s Ren.” he decided. “Adam wearing white works well too, because he’s an innocent, well, seemingly innocent character.” 

“Yeah. and I take it the gold fabric is for Fluffy?” Seto questioned, holding it up to the brunette’s chest. “The gold works wonders for his skin tone and eyes. This is kind of perfect,” He smiled. “Besides, Jerome’s character wearing gold throws the audience off,” he mused. 

Etho nodded. “So I think that wraps up costume’s jobs.” he announced softly. “Props has a lot to balance now,” 

Seto turned to Etho. “If anyone can tell a story in a scene, it’s you, Etho. And Grian and Scar seem to be able to do that as well. You’ve got a solid team behind you. Don’t fret too hard.” 

Etho seemed to be reassured by Seto’s soft words. “Thanks,” he smiled. “Okay, back to prop hunting!” he announced with a clap. “Sorry dad, I stole your bit!” he laughed, but Xisuma shrugged, waving him off with a fondly exasperated grin. Before they split back into their pairs, Keralis and Xisuma shared a look that said ‘kids’ with the fond exasperation only parents could muster. 

Keralis could already tell that Mr. Patrick had nothing to fret over. The group was going to be fine. They were going to get along swimmingly. 


	6. Log 5: a divorce, a cat, and a crush.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ROMANCE IS IN THE AIR

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The updated nicknames will appear that the end of the chapter for your reference.  
> also, poor mumby. drop an f for the poor kid.

#  **Log Five: a divorce, a cat, a crush**

**mom: that went surprisingly well.**

**dad: fluffy reminds me a lot of ren.**

**mom: jason reminds me of stress. i barely felt nervous around him.**

**etho: nice! happy for you, mom. seto is pretty chill, too. we bonded over his cats, which are adorable. remind me to show doc.**

**docm77: i saw cats?**

**etho: hi, doc. setos gonna send me pics when he’s free and ill send them your way.**

**_dad added ijevin to Hermit Friends!_ **

**ijevin: i threated grian with bodily harm to not add me to this convo.**

**hypnotizd: just mute it. i do.**

**xbcrafted: jev! my lover has returned from war!**

**ijevin: hi!**

**dad: oh my goodness.**

**mom: shh, let the romance happen, shishwammy**

**dad: i…**

**dad: fine.**

**grian: i saw romance?**

**grian: have our parents finally gotten together?**

**dad: no. for the last time, grian. keralis and i are FRIENDS.**

**mom: ouch.**

**dad: sorry keralis.**

**iskall85: oh no. a divorce :((**

**gtwscar: they were never married?**

**iskall85: how will this family ever recover?**

**iskall85: who gets the kids? the house? the pets?**

**gtwscar: @stressmonster101 pls reign ur partner in.**

**stressmonster101: no, i wanna hear this.**

**dad: for fucks sake.**

**mom: you can take everything but my darling angels.**

**mom: i cant believe this.**

**mom: the betrayal!**

**dad: but the house isnt home without you, keralis.**

**mom: we’re divorced. and now you suddenly care!?**

**dad: i’ve always cared, honey.**

**mumbojumbo: oh rip**

**grian: what have i done**

**grian: im so sorry siblings.**

**dad; and SCENE!**

**mom: and SCENE!**

**iskall85: that was brilliant!**

**dad: sorry guys.**

**mom: but he is right, gri. we’re just friends.**

**dad: yeah**

**_etho sent 4 images to Hermit Friends!_ **

**etho: @docm77 look at the kitties.**

**bdoubleo100: he physically gasped.**

**bdoubleo100: “oh my gost they are so fluffy i may die”-doc 2021**

**_bdoubleo100 set bdoubleo100’s nickname to bdubs!_ **

**_bdubs set docm77’s nickname to softie!_ **

**softie: im gonna kill you.**

**bdubs: shh calm down look at the furry babies.**

**softie: i hate you so much**

**bdubs: lies**

**softie: …**

**softie: yeah.**

**mumbojumbo: doc is broken**

**softie: no. im just choosing to not be an asshole.**

**mumbojumbo: oh. I like this change.**

**mumbojumbo: also those are some cute cats.**

**iskall85: i think you should fess up, mumbs. you can’t keep him in the dark forever. besides, he’s gonna find out one way or the other. better to hear it from the source than the grapevine.**

**mom: what?**

**iskall85: fuck! please ignore that. I pressed the wrong chat asndsdsfskjnf**

**mumbojumbo: EGEFJVHEFLJVEFLVJNEF**

**mumbojumbo; ISKALL YOU SPOON**

**iskall85: AT LEAST THERES NO NAME**

**mumbojumbo: im gonna leave before you idiots even start**

**_mumbojumbo has left Hermit Friends!_ **

**_grian has added mumbojumbo to Hermit friends!_ **

**_mumbojumbo has left Hermit Friends!_ **

**_dad banned mumbojumbo from Hermit Friends!_ **

**dad: grian, give him a few minutes. poor kid just got a shell shock.**

**grian: so ban him. that makes perfect sense**

**dad: i just messaged him ant told him i’d add him back when he’s ready.**

**dad: and for the time being, i’m gonna ban iskall too so you guys don’t pester them for info on mumbo. they’ll be unbanned when you guys are ready to drop it.**

**_dad has banned iskall85 from Hermit Friends!_ **

**_dad has banned grian from Hermit Friends!_ **

**dad: sorry.**

**_dad has unbanned mumbojumbo and iskall85 from Hermit Friends!_ **

**_dad has added mumbojumbo and iskall85 to Hermit Friends!_ **

**gtwscar: take your time, dude.**

**bdubs: its gri, isnt it.**

**mumbojumbo: yes. but this isnt how i wanted him to find out.**

**mumbojumbo: fuck.**

**softie: divine intervention.**

**mom: would it make you feel better if we confessed crushes too?**

**softie: ^^**

**gtwscar: ^^ this may be the push i need.**

**dad: ^^**

**mumbojumbo: sure, if you guys are comfortable with it.**

**zedaph: tangs and impy, im so sorry but im leaving you for ren.**

**impulse: lmao**

**tango: or you could just bring ren over??? ;))**

**rendog: LMAO**

**rendog: no one can resist the diggity dog**

**joehills: guys, take this seriously.**

**zombiecleo: please. mumbo just got hella exposed.**

**falsesymmetry: doc.**

**falsesymmetry: no cap. its doc.**

**softie: oh?**

**falsesymmetry: yep. its out there. i said it.**

**etho: that was bold.**

**etho: doc how you feelin?**

**softie: this isnt a rejection, false. give me time to process that, okay?**

**falsesymmetry: take all the time you need, doc.**

**gtwscar: how are you so calm about this?**

**falsesymmetry: the worst doc can do is say no. and then its just a matter of letting it go.**

**falsesymmetry: we’re both old enough that we can handle a rejection, should it come to that.**

**gtwscar: good point.**

**gtwscar: bdubs. my crush is bdubs.**

**bdubs: wait really?**

**softie: ow, my ears.**

**bdubs: sorry doc!**

**gtwscar: ??**

**softie: we’re on a call. he asked for my help in math.**

**bdubs: scar. message me.**

**gtwscar: okay.**

**joehills: glad to see you all taking this seriously.**

**joehills: zombiecleo, you are the one who has stolen my heart.**

**zombiecleo: for real?**

**zombiecleo: i will bust your kneecaps if you’re fucking with me right now.**

**dad: hey, no violence.**

**joehills: I’m not.**

**joehills: that’s a rude joke to play on a person, cleo. i would never stoop to that level of immaturity and bullying.**

**zombiecleo: joesph hills.**

**zombiecleo: so help me god if this isn’t legitimate**

**joehills: i think you’re more in a state of disbelief than you’d like to admit.**

**zombiecleo: …**

**falsesymmetry: she is.**

**falsesymmetry: i can’t tell if she’s about to scream at me or what.**

**falsesymmetry: cleo.exe has stopped working.**

**rendog: i’ll tell you personally, mumbo. no sense in embarrassing them here.**

**zombiecleo: if you’re serious, joe, ask me out.**

**joehills: okay. meet you in ten at your house.**

**iskall85: OOOOOOOOO**

**iskalll85: ROMANCE IS IN THE AIR**

**dad: oh wow**

**mom: that was an interesting turn of events.**

**dad: hang on let me clear some of these and add grian back.**

**_dad has deleted four messages!_ **

**_dad has unbanned grian from Hermit Friends!_ **

**_dad has added grian to Hermit Friends!_ **

**grian: oh jeez i missed a lot.**

**grian: WAIT JOE’S GONNA DO IT????**

**grian: YAY!!!!!**

**_falsesymmetry sent a video to Hermit Friends!_ **

**falsesymmetry: i cried a little.**

**zombiecleo: that was dramatic**

**joehills: only the best for you, dear.**

**zombiecleo: lsjfnejvfejv**

**grian: DFHEJECJEDFEJN**

**grian: OH MY GOD**

**grian: JOE**

**grian: THAT WAS**

**grian: jdsnlnelnelnc**

**dad: grian.exe has stopped working.**


	7. Log 6: hickies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the non tc characters will be mentioned throughout the story, but won't really be featured all that much.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> pez and liss will be mostly mentioned from here on out

**jaosn: how’s the dress coming?**

**bacc: so pretty. pezzy is incredible**

**benj: do we get pics?**

**bacc: im nekkid mitch**

**cryptid: no hes not**

**cryptid: im in the same room, idiot.**

**bacc: touchin mah boobs**

**_bacc sent an image to JASON FARTS PLEDGE PASS IT ON._ **

**benj: seto can we trade places.**

**cryptid: my sister will order you around like the top she is.**

**benj: das fine**

**cryptid: be my guest.**

**deadlox: pez is a top?**

**sky: she’s so sweet though?**

**jaosn: being a soft dom exists. and topping doesn’t equal domming.**

**ssundee: this is true**

**huskymudkipz: very ;)**

**deadlox: that’s a sus wink.**

**sky: veerrrrrry sus**

**sky: almost as sus as the hickies on ian’s neck.**

**ssundee: i’m allowed to enjoy myself.**

**ssundee: jealous?**

**sky: of you? no. of who left them? also no. of the hickies? YES**

**cryptid: yall are bunch of freak bitches.**

**sky: its apart of havng daddy issues.**

**cryptid: i have daddy issues and have no desire to be marked like that.**

**deadlox: but are you depressed?**

**cryptid: i take zoloft.**

**deadlox: that explains it. vanilla ass bitch on antis.**

**cryptid: my other meds didn’t do that?**

**deadlox: rip.**

**deadlox: zoloft turned me into a zombie.**

**deadlox: literally. i couldn’t sleep. i couldn’t eat. i could barely muster enough energy to get out of bed most days.**

**benj: much thank, seto.**

**cryptid: very welc, benja**

**bacc: now i got two pretty boys feeling me up.**

**bacc: in all srsness, seto’s hands are on my ass and they are cold.**

**cryptid: sorry about that.**

**benj: pez really is a top lmao.**

**benj: imagine: a pretty girl in a pastel blue sweater dress with grey pawprints all over it is bossing you around.**

**benj: she is wearing a flower crown and sounds like she’s maybe 13 and she’s bossing me around.**

**_cryptid has added pez dispenser to JASON FARTS PLEDGE PASS IT ON!_ **

**pez dispenser: you forgot to mention that i’m almost as tall as you. :)**

**pez dispesner: but yeah, my girlfriend says that all the time.**

**_cryptid sent a video to JASON FARTS PLEDGE PASS IT ON_ **

**pez dispenser: this is how i draft patterns, okay??**

**pez dispenser: but jay is gonna be the prettiest bitch at the ball**

**bacc: thank you pez**

**pez dispenser: np jay. I’m gonna take this sheet and do a mockup, hang tight for an hour or two.**

**bacc: if it works?**

**pez dispenser: then i start on the gold fabric. may need a little more seam allowance for it bc it has less stretch than cotton.**

**pez dispenser: i don’t have any yellow zippers either. rats.**

**bacc: I can get you one. what size do you need?**

**pez dispenser: 20 inches. but i could do snaps or hooks and eyes with a placket of other fabric.**

**deadlox; what the fuck is a placket?**

**pez dispenser: a thin sheet of fabric attached to one side of an opening that doesn’t fully close to hide the skin underneath.**

**pez dispenser: logging off now, will update you later!**

**_pez dispenser has logged off!_ **

**cryptid: also, pez is 18.**

**cryptid: she just sounds like a little kid.**

**jaosn: what’s she gonna do with the mockup?**

**cryptid: either donate it to drama or take it in for herself. it’s a really pretty material, it just needs a lining layer bc its a thin sheet.**

**sky: coming back to the hickies thing- who gave ian hickies???**

**ssundee: yeah i wonder who did that to me??**

**benj: it was jay. he made good on his promise to bite us.**

**bacc: yep.**

**huskymudkipz: can i be next?**

**bacc: no you taste like fish.**

**huskymudkipz: i do not. im not a fish, asshole.**

**bacc: jaosn im comin for that throat baby**

**jaosn: absolutely not**

**bacc: its not gay**

**jaosn: i could care less about the gay factor. i just don’t want any of you that close to my neck.**

**cryptid: valid. i dated a girl who was always trying that shit. I hate people touching my neck lmao**

**cryptid: but that could also be bc im super gay**

**deadlox: but would you accept hickies elsewhere is the question**

**cryptid: idk. never gotten hickies except from that girl.**

**bacc: he legitimately did a full body shudder typing that.**

**benj: so if i were to touch your neck with my fingers what would happen?**

**benj: im not gonna obvs, i just want to know so i can warn the poor soul who tries.**

**cryptid: a swift ass kicking.**

**cryptid: the only time im okay with it is when people hug me and that’s iffy in general.**

**jaosn: i wish you said something sooner! I’d find a way to hug you without touching your neck!**

**cryptid: that soesnt bother me much. pez and mom hug me the same way.**

**jaosn: i don’t wanna make you uncomfy tho**

**cryptid: you arent. but i’ll let you know if/when it does.**

**bacc: there really isnt a way for you to hug us without touching our necks bc ur short.**

**bacc: except maybe ian bc he’s TOL**

**sky: which brings me back to the hickies question.**

**ssundee: sitting and laying down exist.**

**sky: so you got fucked.**

**ssundee: no**

**huskymudkipz: hickies dont equal sex adam**

**sky: i know this**

**sky: but hickies that dark???**

**sky: for a makeout sesh?**

**deadlox: dude, drop it.**

**pez dispenser: it was one thousand percent q.**

**pez dispenser: debate all you want but ian and q do be fuckin on the main**

**huskymudkipz: how do you know that??**

**pez dispenser: no amount of bleach in the world will erase the sins i saw in the costume closet.**

**cryptid: do you need to talk about it sis?**

**pez dispenser: maybe w my therapist or liss.**

**pez dispenser: btw can u let her in**

**cryptid: yeah.**

**sky: WHAT**

**huskymudkipz: i can’t believe you dense morons didnt find out sooner.**

**ssundee: same, honestly. and sorry pezzy.**

**pez dispenser: its fine. i have a twin brother who has also scarred me for life.**

**cryptid: was that last weekend? and how are they anyways. both, i mean, not just sketchy.**

**pez dispenser: no. and bubs misses you a lot. sketchy is fucking ur best friend tho**

**cryptid: normally id be mad but if i dint have to listen to him pine over my brother im happy.**

**bacc: wait what?**

**benj: you’re so chill abt that**

**cryptid: he told me abt it. and he’s been pining after my brother for years. bout time if ya ask me.**

**pez dispenser: this is liss. hello setos friends.**

**jaosn: hi liss.**

**deadlox: so sorry you saw this convo.**

**pez dispenser: nbd loves.**

**pez dispenser: seto rlly does have cold hands tho jay.**

**bacc: lmao**

**cryptid: sorry.**

**bacc: you should have jason warm them up.**

**bacc: he do b a tiny furnace**

**cryptid: its okay.**

**jaosn: if you want me to, just ask. ty does it all the time**

**sky: are we just gonna ignore the fact that ian and q fucked?**

**jaosn: you are weirdly fixated on that**

**sky: bc this is a mind blwong revelation**

**jaosn: only to oblivious idiots.**

**sky: RUDE**

**deadlox: sky come answer your fucking door.**

**sky: just come in?**

**deadlox: but kermit**

**sky: fair.**

**deadlox: thank you.**

**sky: what the fuck are the flowers for?**

**deadlox: you moron.**

**jaosn: you, moron. or you moron.**

**deadlox: they are for him but he is also a moron.**

**jaosn: true.**

**jaosn: good luck with the flowers i guess?**


	8. Log 7: horny on main

**_mumbojumbo and redthedog’s private chat!_ **

**renthedog: its etho**

**mumbojumbo: really?**

**renthedog: yes really.**

**mumbojumbo: oh, thats sweet.**

**mumbojumbo: i wont tell.**

**renthedog: but you should probably tell grian he’s asking abt it in the chat**

**mumbojumbo: oh no**

**mumbojumbo: this is really bad.**

**mumbojumbo: wish me luck bc i might die**

**renthekid: ill fight him if he’s a dick about it.**

**mumbojumbo: please don’t.**

**_Hermit Friends chat!_ **

**grian: so anything else happen when i got kicked?**

**grian: aside from mumbo getting exposed?**

**grian: @mumbojumbo you okay dude?**

**mumbojumbo: no, honestly.**

**mumbojumbo: i’ll message you privately about it.**

**zedaph: i just came back from the store.**

**zedaph: congrats to jleo and scardubs**

**zedaph: fingers crossed for you, falsie**

**zedaph: and rip to mumbs. sorry babes.**

**falsesymmetry: don’t pressure doc like that, zed.**

**softie: i feel no pressure from that.**

**zedaph: i wasnt trying to, falsie. sorry docs.**

**softie: hey no big deal, zed. i read it as “good luck to you, false.”**

**softie: but what are you up to, false?**

**falsesymmetry: walking home from cleo’s.**

**softie: want me to join you?**

**falsesymmetry: up to you, but i wouldn’t mind the company.**

**_mumbojumbo and grian’s private chat!_ **

**mumbojumbo: about the crush thing.**

**mumbojumbo: its ah**

**mumbojumbo: you, actually.**

**grian: i**

**grian: SCLFJKNVELJNVEL**

**grian: for real??**

**grian: holy shit**

**grian: like actually holy shit**

**mumbojumbo: is this bad?**

**grian: no**

**grian: sorry, excitement got the better of me**

**mumbojumbo: i see that**

**grian: what are you doing friday mumbs**

**mumbojumbo: working.**

**mumbojumbo: free saturday though.**

**grian: wanna go to olive garden with me at 5 on saturday?**

**mumbojumbo: i would love nothing more.**

**grian: it’s a date. ;)**

**mumbojumbo: uh… ;)**

**_docm77 and falsesymmetry’s private chat!_ **

**docm77: I’m in my driveway.**

**falsesymmetry: hi.**

**docm77: any trouble thus far?**

**falsesymmetry: nope. odd, because cleo’s neighborhood is sketchy at best.**

**docm77: I’m aware. hence my asking.**

**falsesymmetry: one of needs to pay attention to the sidewalk.**

**docm77: i can multitask.**

**_Hermit Friends chat!_ **

**softie: false and i are walking. we won’t be reading the chat.**

**dad: please be careful guys.**

**softie: we’ll let you know when we arrive.**

**dad: thank you. watch for cars, the roads are bad.**

**tangotek: i set my phone down at work and come back to a bajillion messages. sheesh.**

**impulsesv: same. i’m off now. want me to give you a lift?**

**tangotek: please.**

**softie: false and i are at her house now. she’s making dinner.**

**zedaph: yum. lemme get a plate.**

**falsesymmetry: no.**

**dad: good to hear. i’m making tacos if you want some zed.**

**mom: they are excellent tacos so far.**

**dad: go back to chopping that lettuce, keralis.**

**mom: you never let me have any fun.**

**dad: please watch the knife by your elbow.**

**zedaph: i’m good. i’m making lasagna with my mom actually.**

**tangotek: tell her impulse and i miss her.**

**zedaph: she actually just asked me if we should set places for you two at the table.**

**tangotek: yes. impulse and i are so sick of arbys**

**zedaph: okay i’ll tell her you’re coming over.**

**grian: tacos sound amazing. can i come over dad?**

**mumbojumbo: can i too?**

**dad: i figured you would. besides, right now its just rals and i and we cant eat all of this food alone.**

**mom: we could if we tried.**

**mom: what’s falsie making?**

**softie: spaghetti and it smells amazing.**

**falsesymmetry: thank you, doc.**

**softie: you’re welcome.**

**zombiecleo: joe brought me pizza and now we’re watching horror movies.**

**tangotek: romance.**

**iskall85: i just bought like, fifty mcnuggies and I’m going to eat them all**

**iskall85: thats an exaggeration. there’s only 20.**

**dad: i was about to say something.**

**etho: can you pick me up some nuggies iskall**

**iskall85: im almost home now.**

**grian: rip**

**renthedog: do you want nuggies?**

**etho: yes**

**renthedog: i’ll bring you some on my way home from work.**

**etho: ty. ilysm**

**renthedog: i love you too. i’ll be there in about 20.**

**etho: bet. nuggies and homework?**

**renthedog: sounds great.**

**hynotizd: xb and jev brought me chinese food.**

**dad: i’m glad you’re all eating.**

**stressmonster101: thank you for the nuggies iskall.**

**iskall85: of course.**

**etho: i’d be saltier if ren wasn’t bringing me any.**

**iskall85: stress caught me in the driveway.**

**etho: oh**

**etho: but im happy now bc i still get my nugs.**

**iskall85: sometimes you need nuggies for serotonin**

**etho: yeah**

**gtwscar: bdubs and i are eating ramen toegther.**

**gtwscar: its amazing ramen but bdubs wont teach me his secerts.**

**etho: rip to scar**

**gtwscar: yeah.**

**softie: ramen isnt hard to make at all?**

**gtwscar: i know, but bdubs makes some killer ramen.**

**softie: its ramen.**

**falsesymmetry: maybe scar gets serotonin from noodles.**

**gtwscar: o do**

**tangotek: lmao**

**zedaph: doc, sometimes a bowl of ramen can change your life.**

**softie: not nearly as much as False’s spaghetti.**

**falsesymmetry: aww thank you**

**grian: dad is a really good cook holy shit**

**grian: i pretty sure this taco is better than sex**

**tangotek: if thats your opinion you havent been treated right my friend.**

**mom: OH SNAP**

**zedaph: dear lord tangs.**

**tangotek: you’ll be saying that later ;)**

**dad: *bonk* off to horny jail with you**

**zedaph: LMAO**

**zedaph: dad just went off!**

**mumbojumbo: im not even spiritual and these tacos sent me to heaven**

**mom: this is why i pretty much live here. shishwammy is housewife material.**

**dad: get out**

**mom: :(**

**dad: go**

**mom: i love you**

**dad: you can stay.**

**_falsesymmetry added zombiecleo and stressmonster101 to the chat!_ **

**_falsesymmetry has renamed the chat Falsie’s Funeral Planning Squad!_ **

**zombiecleo: thats a tad dramatic love**

**stressmonster101: you okay babe?**

**falsesymmetry: ADFLWJDKFNWLJFN NO**

**falsesymmetry: DOC LET ME KEEP HIS HODDIE IM DEAD AND OMW TO HEAVEN**

**stressmonster101: awh!**

**zombiecleo: Joe just rolled his eyes so hard im sure he finally found his brain**

**stressmonster101: date one of the hermitgals, become one of the hermitgals.**

**falsesymmetry: NO LIKE IM ACTUALLYDYING GUYS**

**falsesymmetry: THIS IS NOT A FUCKING DRILL**

**zombiecleo: False, are you okay? This is a genuine question. You don’t have to lie to us. -jh**

**falsesymmetry: NO IM NOT**

**stressmonster101: i just called her and she’s like, hyperventilating?**

**stressmonster101: poor things so excited she cant breathe**

**zombiecleo: this is about more than a hoodie, i promise.**

**falsesymmetry: YES IT IS BUT MY BRAIN JUST NOW CAUGHT THE FUCK UP**

**stressmonster101: “doc kissed me. holy shit he actually kissed me. and gave me his hoodie. oh my god ive died im in heaven. please wake me up bc this has got be a dream,” falsie, 2021.**

**zombiecleo: WHAT?!?!**

**zombiecleo: BABES THATS GREAT!!!**

**falsesymmetry: ASFJNLDJNVELQJFEWLJFN I KNOWWWWWWW**

**stressmonster101: so what now?**

**falsesymmetry: i dunno but i feel like this is revenge for dropping my bombshell earlier.**

**zombiecleo: probably. doc can’t take such a crushing defeat.**

**zombiecleo: wait i think we need to go back tomt he main chat grains killing everyone here.**

**_Hermit Friends chat!_ **

**grian: stress and doc went oddly quiet…**

**grian: they’re fucking, change my mind**

**mumbojumbo griAN YOU CANT JUST SAY THAT**

**mumbojumbo: DO NOT SPECULATE ABOUT OUR FIRNDS PRIVATE LIVES YOU GREMILN FUCKER**

**grian: ur not a gremlin lmao**

**softie: we are not. but she did give me spaghetti to take home**

**falsesymmetry: GRIAN**

**falsesymmetry: YOU BETTER PICK A GOD AND PRAY BC IM GONNA WHOOP UR ASS**

**grian: pls bring the belt daddy ;)**

**dad: *bonk* HORNY JAIL, NOW, GREMLIN!**

**mumbojumbo: dear god grian. you’ve gone absolutely feral.**

**grian: bonk me harder.**

**dad: NO**

**grian: ;)**

**dad: STOP IT**

**grian: is this what it’s like to be tangs?**

**tangotek: yep. i love this side of you.**

**tangotek: also, mumbo ur the gremlin fucker. good luck.**

**tangotek: gremlins can be quite a handful. ;)**

**mumbojumbo: i hate you**

**grian: no, pls go on.**

**etho: grian quit being horny on main. leave that to the himbos.**

**tangotek: thank you. i have one braincell and it’s solely dedicated to being a slut.**

**renthedog: mood.**

**renthedog: sometimes it can do useful things**

**renthedog: but mostly it just goes “sex go brrrr”**

**renthedog: i have zero self restraint okay?**

**etho: im aware.**

**etho: are you home yet**

**renthedog: no im on ur porch with ur nuggies.**

**etho: bless. you may use 1 (one) sexual pickup line on me.**

**rendog: are you my homework?**

**etho: no.**

**renthedog: bc i wanna treat you like it. slam you on a table and do you all night ;)**

**etho: absolutely terrible. come on in.**

**rendog: you say im terrible but i know they’re working on you.**

**etho: you’re a moron. gimme the nuggets/.**

**renthedog: do i get something in exchange?**

**etho: a get out of horny jail free card.**

**renthedog: hell yes**

**renthedog: etho i love you.**

**dad: i give up.**

**mom: you guys are actually stressing him out.**

**tangotek: parenting isnt easy dude.**

**dad: especially a bunch of horny teens.**

**dad: keep your hormones in check, okay?**

**tangotek: i do, usually.**

**rendog: i have one mood and its ✨horny✨**

**dad: …**

**mom: x just made the most hilarious pained noise and dropped his head to the counter.**

**mom: you guys broke him. LMAO**

**grian: maybe you could make him feel better ;) ;)**

**mom: im gonna ban you.**

**grian: i deserve it.**

**grian: i might enjoy it.**

**mom: x, do you want me to ban him.**

**dad: this is a losing fight.**

**_dad set grian’s nickname to gremlin!_ **

**_dad set tangotek’s nickname to slut!_ **

**_dad set renthedog’s nickname to himbo_ **

**himbo: this is amazing dude. thank you dad.**

**gremlin: mumbo wanna stay at my house tonight?**

**gremlin: not like a horny question.**

**gemlin: your gremlin demands cuddles.**

**mumbojumbo: i’d love that, actually. kibo drools too much for my liking.**

**gremlin: maui is a bedhog fyi**

**mumbojumbo: maui is the best boy.**

**gremlin: agreed. also pearl likes to randomly scream.**

**mumbojumbo: she wants cuddle too.**

**himbo: cuddles sound so good rn??**

**himbo: anyone wanna snuggle their local himbo?**

**iskall85: no**

**etho: sure i guess**

**etho: i mean, ur already in my bed.**

**dad: oh dear god.**

**dad: keralis are you staying here?**

**mom: i didn’t bring pjs.**

**dad: we wear about the same size**

**mom: oh yeah**

**dad: so?**

**mom: yes.**

**dad: pls no more horny on main guys.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> grian is gremlin, ren is himbo and tango is slut.   
> disclaimer: i don't slutshame, tango is proud of being horny on main, and that's xisuma's way of admitting he's done trying to keep them from being horny teens lmao.


	9. Log 8: can i touch ur butt

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> no nickname updates, but there is a mention of s*elf h*arm!! PLEASE AVOID THE LINE DENOTED IN ASTERISKS IF THIS TRIGGERS YOU!!!!!

**cryptid: my spirit animal is a pile of rice on the table at three am**

**huskymudkipz: what**

**huskymudkipz: seto are you okay?**

**cryptid: no.**

**jaosn: hows that crush going?**

**cryptid: well**

**cryptid: i have mental breakdowns evey night, become unable to speak while around them, learned how to flirt, and did i mention mental breakdowns?**

**jaosn: so like any other crush?**

**cryptid: yep. hence me vibing witha pile of rice.**

**cryptid: pez here, setos fine :)**

**cryptid: as long as you ignore the fact that he’s defeatedly staring at a pile of rice while clinging to a cup of apple juice he’s fine. bye now.**

**huskymudkipz: damn dude**

**benj: i felt that.**

**benj: i have finally come to terms w my crush but like, they don’t like me back.**

**huskymudkipz: did you talk to them???**

**benj: they dont even know they’re gay, dude**

**benj: wait fuck**

**benj: @sky come be a moron rq**

**sky: lmao**

**sky: do you want me to ask the others questions so they dont think to hard about your abt ur obvi cursh**

**benj: pls**

**sky: okay, @cryptid hey rice boy when the hell you gon tell us who you wanna boneeee**

**cryptid: rice boy**

**cryptid: rice boy?**

**cryptid: for that im not telling you**

**deadlox: you summoned the idiots @benj**

**benj: i did yes.**

**benj: true and husky are too smart for their own good.**

**jaosn: thank you. but im not gonna expoe you in the group chat dude**

**huskymudkipz: me either, dude. tell him when ur ready. in the meantime, i gotta go. ssuns mad im awake and not cuddling him.**

**huskymudkipz: bottoms are so needy sometimes lmao**

**deadlox: maybe thats why jaosn’s such a brat**

**deadlox: he needs dicked down lmaoooo**

**jaosn: yeah but theres inly one person i want to rearrange my guts and im not telling any of you unloyal ass snitches.**

**jaosn: how did the flowers go over ty?**

**deadlox: we made kermit hate me more ;)**

**sky: @huskymudkipz how do you shut a loudass up?**

**huskymudkipz: gags.**

**sky: noted.**

**sky: but why is seto vibing with rice at three am**

**cryptid: just mental illness tingz**

**cryptid: ie, i can’t sleep without counting something bc im so anxious rn.**

**cryptid: soim counting this pile of rice until my brain forcibly shuts down.**

***cryptid: basically my brian is just like “count the rice or stab ur mom” and i dont wanna stab my mom***

**cryptid: I also need to call the pharmacy tomorrow**

**cryptid: im ✨unmedicated✨rn so im having ✨really fun intrusive thoughts and compulsions✨**

**jaosn: did pez hide the sharps**

**cryptid: i did hide the sharps incldung our hand can opener -pezzy**

**jaosn: wanna call seto?**

**cryptid: nah. imjust gonna count this rice**

**benj: ocd is really smthn else my dude**

**cryptid: its ✨stellar✨**

**cryptid: i’m** **✨** **S U F F E R I N G** **✨**

**benj: oof.**

**bacc: f**

**deadlox: f**

**sky: f**

**sky: do you have a therapy appt tomorrow?**

**cryptid: i do**

**huskymudkips: ssundee suggested that pez gets you some paper stars to count or smth**

**cryptid: she’s letting me organize her sewing stuff, sharps not included.**

**cryptid: mom said she might even let me file her paperwork**

**bacc: sounds like exploitation**

**cryptid: its not. they’re just trying to keep me occupied so i don’t try to find sharp objects.**

**cryptid: my compulsions get veeeeeeeery violent.**

**bacc: oofie**

***cryptid: yep. if i go more than 5 seconds without a distraction my compulsions get the better of me and i’ve been 8 months clean of s*lf h*rm and want to stay that way. ***

**bacc: oh. well, here’s a task, ig.**

**bacc: how many yellow items are in your kitchen atm**

**cryptid: seven lemons.**

**cryptid: pez and i are gonna make lemon bread tomorrow**

**bacc; how about blue**

**cryptid: 14.**

**benj: just how long do you think it will take you to count every single bean in your kitchen.**

**cryptid: 347 hours if i were allowed to have the can opener.**

**cryptid: about 15 mins without.**

**cryptid: there are 87 glow in the dark stars painted on pez’s bedroom wall.**

**bacc: how many inyours.**

**cryptid: none but i might change that.**

**bacc: do you have a canvas or smth?**

**cryptid: yes.**

**bacc: see how many stars in your flag colors you can paint on it.**

**cryptid: excellent idea. thank you.**

**bacc: of course seto.**

**benj: question: does pressure help ocd?**

**cryptid: pardon?**

**benj: like being smushed**

**benj:like kittens in a pile**

**cryptid: yes.**

**benj: woud your mom be okay with us smushing you at this hour of night**

**cryptid: she approves**

**benj: get in, losers, we’re gonna smush seto**

**bacc: yay!**

**jaosn: omw**

**huskymudkipz: bet**

**sky: can you handle all of us laying on you?**

**cryptid: most likely not**

**deadlox: can you handle being in the middle of seven sweaty bois**

**cryptid: yes im freezing.**

**bacc: mitch can i touch ur butt**

**benj: ofc**

**deadlox: true can i touch ur butt**

**jaosn: ✨no✨**

**sky: bacc can i touch ur butt**

**bacc: absolutely baby**

**huskymudkipz: the only person allowed to touch this butt is ian**

**ssundee: idc who touches my butt as long as you just touch. no squeezes, no goosebites, none of that.**

**deadlox: tre can set touch ur butt**

**jaosn: maybe**

**_cryptid has renamed the chat can i touch ur butt!_ **

**jaosn: thank you**

**sky: can i touch ur butt is our group mating call.**

**cryptid: thank you guys.**

**sky: yw. now sleep you gremlin kitten.**

**cryptid: id say make me but im not a bottom**

**deadlox: you feel like a corpse seto**

**cryptid: i am heartless**

**deadlox: love that for you**

**cryptid: thank**

**deadlox: welc**


	10. Log 9: etho goes cryptid and romance happened. more at 7, folks.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i am so sorry i wrote this cursed garbage.  
> in summary: ZIT found out x and keralis like one another. then zed finds out x hates himself and asks his fellow siblings to love bomb x. also, grian acts lowkey feral at the possibility of kersumabeing canon and mumbo has to calm his ass down.  
> keralis buys him flowers and makes the mistake of letting etho write the card. cryptid antics and a sinful blend of tumblr raw dialogue and memes ensue as etho hides from keralis.  
> jev, hypno, and xb are in for a surprise the next time they check the chat.  
> also, all the hermits who haven't reveal their names are getting irl names from me.   
> zaiden is zedaph's name, and xavier is evil x. (the canon hels!hermits are their respective hermit's twins.)

**_“we’re studying” chat!_ **

**tango: good morning, loves of my life.**

**tango: my absolute angels**

**tango: my sun and stars**

**zedaph: what are you up to, hun?**

**impulse: what the hell did you do?**

**tango: I cant give you two compliments now?**

**zedaph: not like that.**

**impulse: tango.**

**impulse: what. did. you. do.**

**tango: nothing yet.**

**zedaph: do you want our help?**

**impulse: ^^**

**tango: maybe?**

**tango: its about mom and dad**

**impulse: oh no. this sounds like a bad idea. go on**

**zed: ^^ but please i need to know**

**tango: well its pretty obvi they like one another but they’re both cowards.**

**tango: they don’t trust me but you two are sweet lil angels so….**

**zed: oh jfc. ill take dad**

**impulse: fuckin hell.**

**impulse: keralis knows me too fuckin well for this to work.**

**tango: just convince him that imnot up to something and i’ll do the rest, lovely.**

**impulse: thats impossible, you’re always up to something.**

**impulse: literally always. the only time you aren’t is when you’re asleep. and you schemein your dreams, you hellion.**

**tango: i do.**

**impulse: you’re a devil.**

**tango: i am.**

**zed:he is but you never tell him without him doing something to prompt it?**

**_impulse sent an image to “we’re studying”!_ **

**zed: ouch. the puppy face.**

**zed: impy can be plan b. I got this. (;**

**impulse: oh dear god NO**

**impulse: ZEDAPH I REFFUSE TO LET YOU HELPHIM!**

**impulse:NO KISSES FOR A WEEK IF YOU DO**

**zed: its worth it.**

**impulse: NO**

**impulse: ZAIDEN I SWEAR TO GOD**

**tango: ouch. real names.**

**zed: too late. (;**

**zed: i messaged keralis.**

**_zedaph and keralis1’s personal chat!_ **

**zedaph: hey mom, i have a question**

**zedaph: keep in mind i could be reading the social cues wrong, but i think you like dad as more than a friend.**

**keralis1: you’re not.**

**keralis1: i’ll spare you the long story, but yeah. I’ve been crushing for awhile now. I think he likes someone else.**

**zedaph: wait i like long stories.**

**zedaph: i’ll let you type all of that. check in a moment.**

  
  


**_“we’re studying” chat!_ **

**zed: so one confession is out.**

**_zed sent an image to “we’re studying”!_ **

**tango: I am so proud of you.**

**tango: I’ll give you all the kisses impulse wont this week.**

**impulse: zed, please let me message x. he has anxiety about thses sorts of things an i know you dont handle that the best at times.**

**zed: i wanna do it. but ill call you guys?**

**tango: sure.**

**impulse: also, in case it wasn’t clear, zed, i do love you a lot and would never withhold affection fromyou like that. I only do it to tango bc he thrives on attention and the best way to get him to chill is to not give into him.**

**tango: ouch. hit me right in the ego why dont u.**

**_zedaph and xisumavoid’s persona chat!_ **

**_zedaph set xisumavoid’s nickname to dad!_ **

**dad: you never message me on here. everything alright kiddo?**

**zedaph: yeah. i’mjust in a call with tangs and impy atm.**

**zedaph: so you like keralis.**

**dad: i didn’t realize you noticed**

**dad: should have seen that coming. you’re pretty observant.**

**zedaph: no worries. i do read as pretty aloof.**

**zedaph: but anyways, when did you realize you liked him, if yu dont mind sharing?**

**dad: in 8th grade.**

**dad: its a way longer story than that, but i don’t wanna bog you down with self deprecating rants.**

**zedaph: dad, i know you don’t always feel comfy sharing how you feel about yourself, but holding that in cant be healthy.**

**zedaph: talk to me about it.**

**dad: i talked to doc about it. he’s helping me feel better about it.**

**zedaph: well that’s good. (:**

**dad: its just like you to type a backwards smiley.**

**zedaph: it looks nicer to me.**

**dad: figures. :)**

**zedaph: so anyways, tell me the long story, if you’re comfy???**

**dad: yeah, hold on. my brother is bickering with his friends. I gotta go play peacekeeper.**

**zedaph: siblings are the worst (: good luck dad! i’ll check back in a bit!**

**dad: okay.**

**_zedaph and keralis1’s personal chat!_ **

**keralis1: well, I think i realized i liked him in 9th grade. Its hard not to, honestly. like him, i mean. Xisuma is so sweet and selfless and caring. Honestly, it kinda pains me,, he can be so kind and understanding to others but he can’t give himself the same treatment. they say you are your own worst critic, and thats def true in x’s case. it’s so upsetting bc he can’t see how wonderful and brilliant and kind and inspiring he is.**

**keralis1: sorry i’m ranting about him lol.**

**keralis1: anyways, we were doing homework at the park together and we were sitting on this bench swing thingie. he was helping me with english. i still struggle with it, bc swedish is my first language lmao. anyways, the sun hit his face in a certain way and i was blindsided by just how beautiful he is??? and he’s still so pretty. im sure thats not quite the right word but whatever lol. once i realised how pretty he was i started to realize just how sweet and kind and thoughtful he is and i just… this is downwards slope and i fell so hard on my ass down it.**

**kerlais1: this would be so much easier if you understood swedish this is why i rant to iskall but im determien tomake this make sense.**

**zeaph: that’s really cute oh my gosh. I had to read it to tango and impulse, and impy thinks the word you’re looking for is “handsome”**

**kerlais1: THAT’S THE WORD!!!**

**keralis1: iskall and i debated about that for an HOUR, i was like “wahts the masculine word for pretty” and he was like “pretty can be masculine” and he’s right but that’s NOT THE WORD I NEEDED YOU SPOON**

**zedaph: the idea of calling anyone but mumbo a spoon feels so wrong but mumbo ironically would have been way more help**

**keralis1: literally anyone but doc and iskall would have been more help.**

**keralis1: language barriers are weird man.**

**zedaph: they really are.**

**zedaph: but maybe you should tell him.**

**zedaph: tango speaking: definitely tell him. ya know how x is like,,, super big on doing things for people he loves??? try smth like that.**

**zedaph: impy here: NODO NOT DO THAT THATS A BAD IDEA AND TANGO IS BAD A ROMANCE**

**zedaph: im sorry about them. they took my phone from me. my mom let them in.**

**_zedaph and xisumavoid’s personal chat!_ **

**dad: i’m sorry about the long paragraph and spam.**

**dad: As you know, i met keralis in eighth grade. It wasn’t until second semester i fell for him though. He was always so friendly and kind, going out of his way to include me in things, making sure i was head in conversations. as you can guess, im a sucker for the little things, and stuff like that really made me feel special. And then her started bringing me little gifts, things most people wouldn’t think twice about. yknow, like rings from quarter machines and little knick knacks he saw that made him think of me. Especially pins. Semes like the more i told him about my interests, the more he’d go out of his way to bring me pins that matched them. I still ave them. They’re pinned to my curtain at the moment, bc i don’t have anything else to put them on. They mean the world to me.**

**dad: Doesn’t help that he’s literally the most beautiful people i’ve ever met. His eys- god im a sucker for blue eyes and always have been, but his are the prettiest shade of blue i’ve ever seen?? Reminds me of sunlight on beach waves. His smile could literally cure cancer??? And so could his laugh?? Its so pretty and i wanna make him laugh all the time but im so bad at it, but its worth making an idiot of myself for.**

**dad: And now that he’s in track and he works out?? FUCKME. I’ve never really been one to care about physical appearance (well, i do, but not enought to crush on soneone soley for thagt) BUT HE’S SO ATTRACTIVE??**

**dad: And for the longest time i couldnt tell if i wanted to look like him or date him and now i know i kinda want BOTH??? HELP???**

**dad: But like, he deserves way better than me. He deserves someone who’s as sweet and as charming and funny and just… wonderful as him and i’ll never be that, hard as i try. I’ll never compare to what he desrves and that kills me**

**dad: And this is what ididnt want to talk about so im gonna stop.**

**zedaph: holy smokes that so sweet my teeth hurt.**

**zedaph: tango talking: i know anxiety can be a bitch, but xisuma, how are you SO BLIND????? you are literally one of the SWEETEST, MOST SELFLESS, MOST HELPFUL PERSON ALIVE!!!! YOU TWO ARE PERFECT FOR ONE ANOTHER X.**

**zedaph: X, I MEAN THIS IN THE NICEST WAY POSSIBLE: YOURE SO FUCKING OBLIVIOUS**

**zedaph: ipulse here, i took the phone from him. but iagree that you two are so good for one another. you’re not oblivious in the slightest, you’re just full of self doubt. but dude, listen to us. YOU DESERVE TO BE HAPPY. YOU DESERVE TO SEE JUST HOW AMAZING YOU ARE DAD.**

**zedaph: its me again. but for real. if you can’t love yourself, we will tell the other hermits to bombard you with positivity and love.**

**dad:oh dear god pleasedo not.**

**dad:i swear to god**

**dad: ZEDAPH DO NOT.**

**_Hermit Friends chat!_ **

**zedaph: guys we need to flood the chat with love for xisuma**

**zedaph: don’t disappoint me. (:**

**softie: why???**

**softie: i mean, x is a truly amazing dude an i love himbut why?**

**mumbojumbo: ^^**

**renthedog: do not question the man. do as he says.**

**renthedog: xisuma i love you so much. you should let me kiss you**

**etho: ren can you quit flirting and actually take this kinda seriously for like three seconds. this is the fifth time i’ve died in bedawrs bc of you**

**etho: wait hold up**

**etho: luv you dad. you can get 1 (one) free hug dude.**

**bdubs: X!! YOU COLLECT PNS RIGHT??** **  
****budubs: SCAR AND I FOUND VEGGIE TALES PINS AND I BOUGHT SOME FOR YOU**

**bdubs: @dad pls**

**dad: yes i do.**

**dad: and no, i don’t want kisses, ren.**

**renthedog: can i give you a kiss on the forehead?**

**dad: I’m taller than you?**

**renthedog: answer the question, bee man.**

**dad: i will allow it if you can manage it.**

**grian: hey dad, thank you for the help on calc. my brain is still melting but a lil less now babes.**

**dad: babes?**

**grian: sorry its a mumbo thing. he calls kibo babes.**

**mumbojumbo: because he is a baby**

**grian: absolutely but stay on topic.**

**grian: xisuma is baby**

**dad: i am older than you**

**grian: you’re. still. baby.**

**dad: i feel threatened by that thank you**

**stressmonster101: dad is baby (affectionate)**

**iskall85: yes**

**mom: dad is my baby (affectionate)**

**gtwscar: oh my god.**

**gtwscar: don’t infantize the man.**

**bdubs: babe, no**

**bdubs: this is affection, not insulting.**

**gtwscar: what**

**gtwscar: pls explain to me in person. i am IDIOT**

**softie: xisuma, this is a good thing. they’re tyring to show their love.**

**dad: i know but grian was so threatening?**

**mumbojumbo: he’s like that. he bullies me nicely and compliments me aggressively.**

**mumbojumbo: i think its a gremlin thing.**

**grian: take my love or i’ll take your shins bee boy**

**mumbojumbo: yep. grian is just Like That.**

**dad: i would like to keep my shins honey.**

**mom: xisuma your brother is staring at me through the window and its unnerving pls let me in.**

**mom: nvm but why?**

**_mom sent an image to Hermit Friends!_ **

**mom: is xavier broken**

**dad: possibly.**

**dad: ex here. no, but nice flowers.**

**dad: oh my god i hate him sometimes.**

**dad: brb im gonna go fistfight him.**

**mom: BABE NO**

**grian: BABE???**

**grian: DSFNEDCJLNQELCNDLKCNEL!KCN**

**mumbojumbo: quit screaming you’regonna make kibo go insane.**

**mumbojumbo:GIRAN GET DOWN**

**softie: water bottle.**

**mumbojumbo: GIRAN I WILL SPRAY YOU WITH WATERSO HELP ME GOD**

**grian: mumbs can you comere rq?**

**_mumbojumbo sent an image to Hermit Friends!_ **

**mumbojumbo: @impulsesv @zedaph is this normal for your gremlin?**

**impulsesv: yeah. Zed and Tango always try to climb me.**

**zedaph: smol gremlin desires tol**

**zedaph:smol gremlin must clib for tol**

**tangotek: he seeks a Higher Vantage Point to see the space better for Optimized Chaos**

**softie: im so glad false isnt a gremlin and doesnt climb me like a tree.**

**falsesymmetry: i am feral but not like that.**

**softie: grian and zed are a whole different level of feral.**

**mumbojumbo: for fucks sake grian.**

**dad: what did he do.**

**mumbojumbo:he just bit my fucking ear.**

**mumbojumbo: i will be back later let me deal with this gremlin.**

**mom: oh noes.**

**mom: i didn’t mean to make you cry angelface**

**dad: i’m fine.its okay.**

**etho: you’re horrible at staying on topic.**

**etho: was it the flowers?**

**dad: yes. they’re so pretty**

**etho: it went against everything my parents taught me to use a yellow ribbon on that but i had to. i HAD TO**

**etho:btw i work at my parents flowershop lmao**

**dad: i’m????**

**mom:oh noe i broke him**

**renthedog: how sweet! i want to buy flowers for someone but dont have a reason to**

**ehto: just do it because you can??**

**renthedog: @falsesymmetry can i buy ur bf flowers?**

**falsesymmetry: please**

**falsesymmetry: i wanna see his reaction.**

**gtwscar: is mumbo okay?**

**gtwscar: also i would love to receive flowers?**

**gtwscar: and yes give doc flowers. he gets all blush and stuttery an smiles so adorably!!!**

**bdubs: normally id be upset but when did you give doc flowers?**

**gtwscar: i wore a flower crown the other day (stress made it) and doc liked it so i gave it to him.**

**bdubs: okay that’s literally the cutest thing ever???**

**bdubs: MY BF IS WHOLESOME AS HELL YALL**

**dad: that really is wholesome**

**bdubs: and the best part is scar is just like that??**

**bdubs: he’s literally so sweet all the time??**

**bdubd: is it possible to simp for someone if you’re dating them?**

**iksall85: yes!**

**gtwscar: x, check your text messages.**

**dad: i did.**

**dad: you guys are really trying to get the waterworks flowing today, huh?**

**zedaph: to quote impulse: “YOU DESERVE TO SEE JUST HOW AMAZING YOU ARE”**

**tangotek: we may push your buttons but we love you dad**

**impulse: i try to keep them from doing that too badly. but for real, we do love you, dad. those two just have a very gremlin way of expressing it.**

**dad: i know. but i actually can’t stop crying now??**

**_zedaph and xisumavoid’s personal chat!_ **

**zedaph: sorry for making you cry**

**dad: its okay. i just wasn’t expecting that, and today has just been a bad day is all.**

**dad: i still can’t get over rals bringing me flowers.**

**dad: he had to go afterwards, but i can’t stop looking at them?**

**dad: i really am a useless gay mess arent i**

**zedaph: no. you’re not useless.**

**zedaph: but you are gay, and you are a mess atm. but that’s okay. we’re all a lil messy.**

**dad: there’s a card???**

**dad;DKNWDLKNWDCLKWNDCWKLDNC WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK** **  
****dad: KERALISYOU FUCKING BR A T**

**dad: KERALISSSSSSSSS**

**dad: the card just says “i like your butt pls date me?”**

**zedaph: can i tell the hermits.**

**dad: NO**

**_zedaph and keralis1’s personal chat!_ **

**zedaph: “I like ur butt pls date me?” REALLY?**

**keralis1: I TOLD ETHO TO WRITE SOMETHING SWEET ASNLDSJWJBWDJ**

**keralis1: IM GONNA KILL HIM**

**_Hermit Friends chat!_ **

**mom: ETHO IM GONNA FUCKING KILL YOU**

**etho: oops.**

**renthedog: what did you do?**

**etho: :)**

**renthedog: ETHO**

**etho: :)**

**mom: YOU BETTER RUN WEEABOO**

**etho: you’ll never find me**

**tangotek: what the hell**

**vintagebeef: what the hell?**

**welsknight: hey beef you wanna go to hacienda**

**vintagebeef: yeah. then we can speculate about why ethos gonna get kworded by keralis.**

**zombiecleo:we dont know keralis in this household.only killralis.**

**joehills: hey that was my joke.**

**mumbojumbo:oh dear**

**grian: THANK YOU FOR YOUR SERVICES ETHO**

**etho: of course. now if you’ll excuse me i need to squeeze into this small ass grate**

**softie: ETHO NO**

**etho: its too late. i am one with this heating system.**

**renthedog: should i go rescue him doc**

**softie: he can suffer.**

**iskall85: WHAT THEFHCK ET H O GET OUT OF MY BATHROOM**

**etho: ohhello**

**mom: IKALL RESTAIN HIM**

**iskall85: ✨no✨**

**softie: how did etho get into your bathroom?**

**iskall85:i have no idea. but now im too scared of stray weebs to take a shower.**

**etho: i’m gone now.**

**mom: WHERE ARE YOU YOU RAT BASTARD**

**etho: it doesn’t matter.**

**etho: you cannot kill me in a way that matters.**

**renthedog: etho?**

**etho: ren.**

**renthedog: you’re gonna die dude.**

**etho: if i expire from my mortal shell i will face god and do the wap dance into the gates of hell.**

**mumbojumbo: that was a horrific visual.**

**tangotek: join us. join the whores**

**grian: there are plenty of whores in this house, thank you.**

**tangotek: no there arent**

**iskall85: @dad please help**

**dad: IT WAS YOU.**

**dad: YOU LITTLE SHIT!**

**etho: you cannot kill me. so tell me, father. will you fight? or will you perish like a dog?**

**dad: nope.**

**dad: im not doing this.**

**dad: not today.**

**renthedog: you have gone full cryptid**

**etho: i have not. this is only a sliver of my power, you foolish simp**

**welsknight: etho goes cryptid and romance happened. more at 7, folks.**


	11. Blurb Two: Clout Goggles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TW: SETO DOES HAVE A PANIC ATTACK  
> Basically, the Dream SMP join Herald Falls High, and All of them join Drama. Mr. Patrick is doing auditions for their spring plays, and Grian volunteers Seto to audition. He does, and it goes well, but the pressure gets to him and the poor boy has a melt down.   
> George, in an attempt to cheer Seto up, lets him wear the coveted clout goggles.

**_can i touch ur butt chat!_ **

**sky: THER ARE NEW KIDS**

**sky: THIS ONE REALLYTALL ONE CALLMED BE ABITCH AND THEN LOKKED DOWN AND WAS LIE OH SORRY GOGY UR A BITCH**

**deadlox: that’s ranboo**

**deadlox: hes so fucking stoic and says the funniest shit**

**jaosn: i love him already.**

**benja: one of them is called Dream by his friends and he’s actually really sweet.**

**bacc: WHO IS THE GIRL WITH RAINBOW HAIR I WANNA TOUCH IT**

**cryptid: uh, niki? i could be wrong sorry.**

**ssundee: you guys dont socialize enough lmao**

**huskymudkipz: if yall are this excited over new faces, you clearly don’t interact w enough ppl outside of the drama club LOL**

**sky: who voets to kick them say i**

**deadlox: i**

**jaosn: nay**

**cryptid: nay, they have a point.**

**bacc: nay bc i wanna bite the fish**

**bacc: nay bc im not a simp like tyler**

**deadlox: im not a sipm i just dont like being bullied by the tall bottom bitch**

**benj: do i need to send screencaps of you ranting abt how much you’re obsessed with sky?**

**deadlox: …**

**benj: exactly. sit down, bottom.**

**sky: GUYS THEY’RE IN DRAMA TOOOOO**

**sky: @benj quit acting like a top. we all know you want to be rawed so hard you see the future**

**cryptid: i-**

**cryptid: you freak bitches.**

**cryptid: stay on topic, sluts.**

**benj: who says i don’t wanna be the one blowing backs and getting my back blown? it’s called ✨diversity✨**

The bell rang, dismissing lunch and fourth period finally, and Seto nervously made his way to the auditorium. He stalled a few minutes at his locker, not needing to change out books until after fifth period, but the idea of seeing so many new faces at once terrified him. The feeling of abject terror settled heavily in his sternum, but he forced himself to breathe. There were still familiar faces. He could just hide with the wardrobe crew, none of the new kids would willingly go to wardrobe. 

The panic spiked, sharp and blindingly hot when he saw a giant semi circle of the new kids, clustered in smaller groups of three to five, chatting and laughing amongst themselves at the bottom left of the amphitheater seating area. The panic dissipated when he saw the Hermits in clusters along the bottom right rows, also chatting amicably in and across groups. The rest of Team Crafted, as they’d taken to calling themselves, were dispersed amongst the Hermits, so Seto walked over, inserting himself into his little safety net between Etho and Jason. The two were chatting about the possible assignment for the spring play, which was musical. 

“Dude, I can’t sing a bit,” Jason laughed, gentle and breezy. Sometimes, Seto envied how easygoing and social Jason was. He could make friends with anybody anywhere he went. He could make even the most socially anxious people feel right at home. 

“I can, but with my luck I’d get a part where a mask can’t be incorporated into my costume.” Etho replied, a friendly smile lilting in his voice. Etho would probably join them in wardrobe this time around, being one of the shyer hermits. Knowing there’d be at least one familiar face made him feel a bit better. 

Jason turned to Seto, a friendly yet grounding smile playing at his cheeks. “You should audition. With a voice like yours, you’re sure to nab a lead,” he suggested softly, giving him a gentle nudge. 

Seto blushed, fumbling with excuses. “No, I can’t,” he finally settled on. “I can barely talk to strangers, let alone sing to a room full of them,” 

Grian piped up, turning to Seto with a mischievous smile. “Oh come off it, dude. You’ve got an amazing voice! It’ll be easy, just ignore them!” he advised. “Knock the newbie’s socks off!” While he appreciated the smaller Brit’s confidence in him, Seto knew that advice wouldn’t work with how nervous he already felt. 

Before he could offer a rebuttal, the red clad boy was gone, skipping over to Mr. Patrick. Seto shot a panicked glance their way, praying Grian would have mercy. No such luck, as Mr. Patrick was following the excited blonde over to their group. Seto squeezed his eyes shut, praying the ground would swallow him whole where he stood. Against his will and before he could really process it, his hands started shaking badly enough that his books and folder were too. 

“Seto,” Mr. Patrick’s soft, raspy voice flooded his senses. “Grian told me you wanted to audition today. Any songs in mind?” he asked, pen poised over his clipboard. 

“I ah,” Seto fumbled, dropping his books. Before he could kneel to collect them, Etho and Mumbo were on it. He hadn’t seen the towering brit arrive, so he must have come to stop Grian’s chaos. “Uh, no,” he finally stuttered. “I ah, wasn’t expecting to do it. A last moment thing, y’know?” he tried to play it off with a friendly chuckle that came out too high and breathy to be casual. “Give me a moment to think on it, yeah?” 

Mr. Patrick nodded. “Okay, just don’t delay too long.” he agreed, going over to another small group. Before he could begin briefing the group, Jason flagged him over again. 

“Mr. Patrick, I know what song Seto can do,” he announced softly once their teacher had returned to their group. Jason glanced at him, then back to the teacher. “Ribs by The Crane Wives,” he elaborated. Seto nodded in agreement, hoping the sheer terror of this newly hatched idea didn’t kill him. 

Mr.Patrick wrote it down, pen scratching on the paper. “Okay, you’re up fifth, after Wilbur,” he announced, pointing to someone in the distant group. “I’ll call you up, so just listen for your name,” he reassured, patting Seto’s shoulder. 

“I hate both of you,” Seto hissed at Grian and Jason when Mr. Patrick left. Grian shrugged, looking up from his phone. Jason looked concerned, but brushed off the malicious comment with a shrug and a smile. 

**cryptid: we’re killing jace after school guys.**

**bacc: why?**

**benj: did he make you sign up**

**ssundee: seto, breathe. you’ll nail it.**

**cryptid: he and grian did. grian signed me up, jace chose my song.**

**cryptid: I cant do this guys. i’m gonna lose it and puke ormake a fool of myself some other way.**

**cryptid: this is literally one of my worst fears and jason knwos it**

**cryptid: but its too late to back out now asdnodfjnsdjn**

**bacc: seto, we’ve all heard you sing. sing to one of us. I’ll stay by the front for you.**

**cryptif: but all the new kids are here and i can barley handle talking tot hem let alone this ,dlknwdqnfqwld FUCK YOU JASON**

**jaosn: i wouldn’t have done it if i didn’t have full confidence in you seto.**

**jaosn: you survive your audition and i’ll do something gutsy and terrifying too, deal?**

**cryptid: i get to pick.**

**jaosn: sure.**

**cryptid: you tell everyone after who your crush is. new kids possibly included.**

**jaosn: deal.let’s tell e and mumbs and shake on it.**

Time seemed to crawl as Seto waited for his name to be called. He barely noticed the auditions before him, nerves blinding him to anything but the thundering of his own heart and the fast flutter of his lungs in his chest. Everything felt hot and numb, but he had to bite it back. To breathe deeply, and survive this. He’d do it, even if everything in him seemed to shrivel and wilt at the idea of standing on the stage and belting to a room of judgemental teenagers. 

To most, this would have been a matter of pride, but Seto would let his pride die any day of the year to not have to do this. He was doing this for Jason, he decided. He had to do it to hear the truth. To finally place a name to the figure always standing beside Jason in his mind. 

to finally put a face to the one person who kept him from ever telling Jason about his own feelings. To show Jason he could be brave. 

“Seto, you’re up next!” Mrs. Patrick called out, and Seto began the slow march to his metaphorical death. It felt like every set of eyes in the room were on him, when the reality was probably only the teachers, Team Crafted, and a handful of Hermits. The new kids probably had no reason to care. 

He fixed his sleeves to cover his cuts, then adjusted his hoodie strings before he mounted the stairs to the stage, blinding hot panic flooding every nerve ending. There was a microphone, and Seto Stood poised in front of it, adjusting it a little lower. Took a deep breath, and looked out at the crowd of students. It made him dizzy to be the center of attention, but he pushed away the dizziness, looking up to the teachers in the fifth row. “I’m going to do it a capella, because this was a kind of last minute decision,” He chuckled awkwardly, waiting for their cue. The cue came in a head nod, and Seto locked his eyes to Sky’s blinding smile. 

The words settled in his brain, and Sky gave him an encouraging thumbs up. “ Brick and mortar between my bones,” he began, slowly willing the nervous shake out of his voice. “Built a kingdom fierce and fortified,” He let the last note linger a beat too long, and it echoed hauntingly in the silent room. “My name fading from the yellow page, stones are laid upon the mountainside,” 

He shifted his gaze from Adam’s encouraging smile to Jason’s dazzling blue eyes in the second row. “Oh my savage empire, how lucky we are,” His voice echoed back slightly, sending pleasant shivers down his spine, making the next lyric come out with a faint rasp. “Never to be moved by the words of a liar,” 

Even with his heart thundering a frantic tempo in his ears, the next words came out perfectly, surprising himself. “The dark doesn’t frighten me, I chose to close my eyes. It is mine,” Jason didn't look away, and Seto found himself unable to either. “The night doesn’t frighten me, I chose to let thrive! It is mine! It is mine!” Those lyrics were his favorite of the song, and maybe he over emphasised a bit, because now every set of eyes in the auditorium was on him. “The dark dosen’t frighten me, I chose to close my eyes. it is mine, it is mine,” those weren’t the correct lyrics, but the performances before him were snippets, Seto could mishmash. The final chorus was the most powerful, and singing it made Seto feel braver than he actually was in that moment. “The night doesn’t frighten me, I chose to let thrive!”

“It is mine! It is mine!” The run fell unexpectedly beautifully despite the nerves Seto was fighting back. His voice echoed back in the lingering silence, then the students in front of him burst into applause so loud it rivaled his pounding heart. After a moment of letting the sound linger, Seto scurried off the stage.

Before he could even hear the next person called after him, the heavy oak door of the auditorium swung open with his momentum, and Seto hit the floor, back pressed against the cold wood behind him. He tucked his knees to his chest, fear playing a horrifying solo on his fraying nerves. The trembles and sobs wracked his body, and Seto felt like the pressure in his chest was ripping him apart slowly. Everything was too hot, too bright, too loud, too much, and even the silent, cool hallway was too much for him. All he could do was curl in on himself and sob. 

Seto resigned himself to his fate until a pair of warm hands settled on his shoulders, tethering him to reality again. Desperately, he clung to the body in front of him, heart still racing too loudly for him to hear their soft, soothing tones. A body, warm and solid, pressed against him, and the fear slowly eased up as his breathing did. Fingers carded soothing patterns through his wild waves, and warm metal pressed uncomfortably against his cheek. Seto welcomed the discomfort, letting the feeling bring him back to his sore, aching body again. 

“Shh, there we go,” The voice mumbled, soft and deep, distinctly British. “It’s alright. I’ve got you, honey. Shh shh shh, it’s alright,” Xisuma. Xisuma was holding him like a baby, soothing the panic away with a calm, soft tone. Xisuma was carding his fingers through Seto’s hair, untangling knots Seto didn’t realize he made. 

“I’m sorry about your jacket,” Seto mumbled. 

Xisuma chuckled, soft and comforting, rumbling through his chest. “Don’t you worry a bit about that. It’ll dry. Are you alright?” X tilted his chin up,making Seto meet his eyes. 

“I think so?” Seto replied. “I just- the new students, and then the performance I didn’t want to do-” Another sob tore through his throat.

“I know, honey. I know. You’re okay. You’re safe out here, okay?” X soothed, running a calming hand down his spine. “They all think you did wonderfully, Seto. The last audition just finished, Mr. Patrick is giving us the rest of the period to work on other things,” 

It’d been that long? Seto took a deep breath, reminding himself that it was okay. “I missed Adam?” he whispered. “Oh no, he’s-”

“Not upset. He asked me to check on you,” X cut him off, still speaking soft and slow. “Would you like to go back in, or would you like to stay out here?”

Seto took another deep breath. “Can we go back in?” he asked. Xisuma pulled him to his feet, draping a comforting arm over Seto. Wordlessly, he guided them back to their little group, consisting of Keralis, Adam, Ty, Jason, Etho, and Ren. 

“You okay, dude?” Adam asked, scanning Seto. Hazel eyes halted at his wrists, then the concern was replaced with relief at the sight of unstained sleeves. 

“I should be,” Seto gave him a small smile, unable to muster the energy to make it bigger. 

Before either of them could reply, two more kids, a boy and a girl, joined their circle. The girl was blonde, tugging at her sleeves in a manner Seto knew all too well. She looked pale,an her hands trembled. The boy seemed to be calmer, a comforting arm over her shoulders. His hair was dark and curly, and he brushed it out of his dark brown eyes with a free hand. “Sorry to barge in,” the boy said softly. “I’m Wilbur, and this is Niki. She’s not crazy about loud groups and you guys seem pretty calm.”

“For the most part,” Kerlais laughed. “Welcome to Herald Falls,” he announced with a kind smile. “I’m Keralis, that’s my boyfriend Shishwammy,” he pointed to Xisuma. “These two are Sky and Deadlox,” He waved at the pair. “And those two are Ren and Etho,” 

“Now, Jace,” Adam, turned to the blonde between him and Ty. “Don’t you have a promise to make good on?” A crooked, mischievous grin split his face. 

Jason’s cheeks reddened, all eyes in the circle on him. “Oh god dammit,” he muttered, blush creeping to his ears. “I hate you, Sky,” he mumbled, no heat in the words. “I did make a promise, and Seto, you more than delivered. You fucking killed it,” He praised, meeting Seto’s eyes. “So everyone else has context, Seto promised to do his audition if I promised to spill the beans about my crush.” suddenly, his gaze dropped to his feet. Seto watched his shoulders rise and fall before he looked back up, and those sapphire pools bored into his soul. “It’s you.” he breathed out. “I have a crush on you. Take the time you need to process that,” The nervousness seemed to leave him all at once. 

Seto’s heart dropped to his feet, and then flew back into his throat. “I uah,” he stammered. “Thanks. I’m not ah, ignoring you, I swear. Sorry to leave you hanging,” an awkward chuckle escaped, and Seto wanted to die. 

“That was a lovely choice in song,” Nik’s soft voice broke the awkward tension. “It suited your voice very well, and I felt everything I normally do listening to it,” she praised. 

Seto’s cheeks warmed. “Thank you,” he whispered, unable to force his voice louder. “I don’t-”

Ren cut him off. “Shut up, dude. You killed that. You made that mic your bitch, and you single handedly murdered everyone before and after you.” he complimented. “I didn’t even know you were nervous until you bolted.” 

“Speaking of, are you okay? You should probably sit. I wouldn’t even be coherent after an attack that bad,” X asked, gently guiding him into one of the seats behind him.

A water bottle was pressed into his hands and he took it gratefully, forcing himself to take slow, tiny sips. The conversation carried on around him, a backdrop to his whirling thoughts. Normally, a revelation like Jason’s would have triggered an attack, but Seto was too wiped out from the one minutes ago to have another. He tuned back in as a few new people joined the group. Dream, in a green hoodie with a mask covering the lower half of his face, leaned casually over the back of Niki’s chair. George, Dream’s boyfriend(Seto wasn’t sure, but Dream had a hand on his lower back and they were talking without speaking, so he guessed.) was sitting on the arm of Wilbur’s chair, unfolding a set of sunglasses and perching them on his nose. 

“Clout goggles, activate!” Dream announced with a laugh. He reached over Niki to high five Adam and Keralis, then high fived Niki. 

“I’m detecting unusually low levels of clout in this house. Yall need to hype up!”George joked, knocking shoulders with Wilbur, who snorted. 

“No clout here kids. Anxious beans only,” Xisuma laughed, drawing Seto closer under his arm. 

“Oh,” George nodded. “Hey, songbird, wanna wear the clout goggles?” he offered, holding out said sunglasses, thick white plastic with circular lenses. 

Seto took them and put them on, immediately flinching at how different everything looked. Jason’s normally bright hoodie looked like a sad shade of grey. “What the fuck?”he muttered, amazed. “Why is everything so grey now?” he asked. 

Dream laughed. “George, those are the color clout goggles!” he wheezed. “We gave him the wrong pair!” He pulled an identical pair out of his hoodie pocket, replacing the set on Seto’s face. 

“Oh, that’s better! I guess I’m the clout king now,” Seto joked. 

Dream fist pumped. “That’s the spirit, lil dude!” Then he offered Seto a fist bump. Seto returned it weakly. 

Seto smiled at Jason, who snapped a picture, then he slipped the sunglasses off again. “Here you go,” he offered them to George. 

George took them back with a smile, handing them to Dream. “You look so cool in the clout goggles, dude. And your performance was amazing!” he gushed. 

Niki rolled her eyes. “Sorry, they’re just, like that, I guess. It’s worse when Sap joins the party,” she chuckled. 

Seto smiled. “Thanks for letting me wear them,” he replied softly. “Sorry I’m not the most hype right now,”

Wilbur waved a dismissive hand. “Dude, X just said you had a bad panic attack. You’re allowed to be lowkey afterwards.” he replied softly. “But seriously, way to show off,” he teased. “There goes my hope of being a lead.” 

“I only did it because Grian and Jace forced my hand. I didn’t want to in the first place,” Seto replied. “I panicked and wasn’t able to tell Mr. Patrick no.”

Dream skirted around Niki, sitting on the floor beside Seto’s feet. “Dude, facing your fears is so pog! I’m really proud of you for getting up there!” he gushed. “We should throw a party at Eret’s to celebrate!” he suggested. 

Jason cut in, saving Seto’s ass. “Seto isn’t big on parties. maybe after we get the cast list?” Jason suggested. “Gives everyone time to meet all of you too,” 

Dream nodded. “That sounds poggers! Y’all on Chatterbox?” he asked, holding out his phone. “Add yourselves and we’ll make something happen!” 


End file.
